crazy fun weekend.

as our guide had put it...while there were some rapids that made it to the 'oh shit' factor...the whole experience was a 'OH SHIT!' one. SO good! totally amazing. definitely thinking about doing it again next year...or just hit up skydiving. =P

here's the detailed low-down on how the weekend went.

friday:
barely made it onto the greyhound bus on time. oh man, there was like 5 minutes to spare. talk about cutting it close! but yeah, we made it..and just sat around for the next 5 and a bit hours. while on the way there, here comes sneha and her attempts to be ghetto...while standing around having a snack before boarding the bus again, she just goes 'ok guys, wanna bounce?' so me being me, i had to respond by saying, '...to where?' hehehe. sucker =P

got intown around 11 something. caught a cab to the hotel, Capital Hill Hotel & Suites (GREAT place! HIGHLY recommended), and just basically dumped our stuff and went for a midnite sightseeing trip. eventually got back to the hotel around 2 something cuz we had to be up by 5:30 or so just so that everybody could get ready for the pick up at 7 am by the rafting ppl.

so yeah, while winding down from the impromptu sightseeing, i decided to set the alarm for 5 am, b/c apparently the other girls wanted to shower before they left...i'd already showered before i headed d/t..so i was clean already =P

saturday:
anyways, yeah, so we were set for the next morning. the only problem was...i forgot to actually turn on the alarm itself =T yes, i AM a genius...so 'S-M-R-T'. but regardless, i was up at 5:40 on my own and realized what i'd done. so i just got up and woke everybody else up and made breakfast for myself.

eventually, after a lot of prodding and nagging on my part, i got everybody up and somewhat ready. then came the frantic scramble to get everything packed up again and head over down to the lobby by 6:45. course...it didn't happen. i just went downstairs first into the lobby to check out while everybody else was still packing up.

finally, everybody managed to get downstairs at like 6:59 or so...and luckily the guy picking us up wasn't there yet. so according to pradnya...they were still 'early' ... rite *nods and smiles*

so yeah, eventually the guy comes, Junnuen. he had the most amazing mexican accent you could ever imagine..and definitely was up there in the 'hot' scale! u just had to see him. tanned and everything! so anyways, we all got on..and we went to the greyhound station again to pick up one more person before heading out the actual rafting place, which was situated on L'ile-Du-Grand-Calumet. really pretty place. but yeah, that was 1.5 hours away from ottawa, so that's why we had to start our day early. the rafting itself was supposed to take place from 9 - 4.

so yeah, we eventually found mona from the bus terminal and headed off to calumet. and along the way..sneha, pradnya and deepa totally just passed out, so i was left to talk to junnuen and mona. oh man, mona was really the intellectual type who really knew a lot about stuff and would just talk about it to anybody. for example, she started talking about how she was inspired by the ancient history of the chinese and how they would name their kids w/ their 'milk' names and then their actual 'adult' names and how the 'adult' names were based on a defect that the kid had. she then put in her opinions as to why they would do such a thing. and then i put in my two cents (about how i think it's a way to not alienate the kid, but to make them feel special..or something like it, can't really remember what i said). then she started talking about how she liked the scenery that we were going through and how she would like to one day open up a retreat/resort area where all the intellectuals could come and just immerse themselves in knowledge. and how she was inspired by the traditional japanese houses, w/ the wooden flooring and sleeping on mats and the central cooking centre that you can cover up when not in use, etc.

though somewhat interesting, i was ready to pass out from it all, but i felt just cuz i didn't want to seem rude. but she just kept on going on and on and on...kinda like the energizer bunny.

so anyways, we eventually made it to calumet and just hopped onto the bus that would take us to the actual location that we were going to raft in. before we could get off the bus, we were briefed on what to do if we went overboard:

1/ to be calm, u'll pop up from under the water in 3 - 5 seconds (we just had to say 'be cool' 3x, and by then we should have surfaced);
2/ when you surface, to immediately swim to the side that your guide had told you to head towards if you did happen to go overboard;
3/ if we couldn't swim to shore, we had to get into the 'white water' position and not 'stand' in the water (basically just sit in the water w/ your feet up and just float along til somebody came to get you;

finally

4/ we had to listen for any instructions from the guides. so if they told you to swim in one direction..follow it..or to stop, etc.
(err..i 'think' these were the rules, i couldn't really remember them all =T useful eh?)

then, after listening all these rules and such, we had to sign a waver acknowledging that Esprit (the rafting company) was not responsible for any damage or health problem that we could 'possibly' encounter while on the journey. quite reassuring, really, particularly for those who had never gone rafting before. =T

but, nonetheless, we all signed it and got out to get our helmet, lifejacket and paddle. and off we went to meet our guides. we were supposed to get lacey, but they did a switch, and we got bob instead. such a good choice. so hot. the only problem was...he reminded me of jon (karen's bf). not a fan. anyways, he was MUCH better than him..sorry karen =T

***side note*** i MUST comment on how GORGEOUS many the guys were on this trip, particularly some of the guides. amazingly great BONUS of this weekend getaway!***

so yeah, we continued on w/ rafting and he was telling us about the different rapids, the different classes they were (1 - 5), the names of the next rapid that was coming up, etc. because we had a full raft, there were times when we had to alternate being the 'princess/prince'. basically, that just meant that one of us had to just sit tight and not raft cuz there wasn't enough room.

so yeah, during the second..or third rapid, the 'butterfly', i was told to be the princess and so i sat up front and just sat. while we were 'surfing', where you just stay in the same spot w/in the rapid, we were all getting water in the face and all. not too pleasant..particularly when u don't get enough time to breath in some air to hold =T but yeah, so while at the very front...w/ the pressure of the current and all..i obviously tipped over cuz i had nothing to hold on to.

a complete somersault into the water. feet up in the air and everything. of course, it was all in slow-motion and caught on tape. clearly. =T it was a classic moment in itself.

so yeah, i'm proud to say that i wasn't the only one who fell, sneha fell a couple of seconds after me on this rapid! so there! =P

but yeah..so in the process of being dragged by the current..i managed to still hang on to the very front of the raft..but was only hanging on. the current was too strong for me to pull myself back in...and while in the process of hanging on...i lost a shoe. i felt the current just up and flick my left shoe off my foot...and was battling w/ my right one. =P

managed to keep that one on..and just gave up and let go of the raft and let the current just take me to another raft where they just picked me up and plopped me in. so yeah..here i am, sitting in this raft...w/ a polka-dotted sock on one foot and a shoe on the other. after that, i hopped onto my raft again, picked up sneha and we all continued down the river.

i learned my lesson well. the farther back the raft you go, the safer you are.

while coming upon the next rapid, we all had to get off and get an overview of the rapid, because it was considered a class 5 one. it wasn't that it was so dangerous b/c of the waves and such, but that it was so shallow and had some whirlpools w/in it that could just suck you in..and keep you there.

in all honesty, it really wasn't as hard and scary as what they'd hyped it up to be, but yeah, while gathering on the rocks...one of the guides was asking whether somebody had lost a shoe. and not just any shoe...MY shoe! =D

you better believe that i retied my shoes super tight after that. double knotted and all!

the rest of the rapids for that morning were pretty standard and whatnot after that..no more exciting details report about.

after lunch, we went down another path and had a blast down those rapids, although, it wasn't as super scary as the morning ones. the first one of the afternoon was the 'garburator'. definitely an amusing rapid. why you ask? it was cuz this was the one where we were all warned that we should avoid falling in at all costs, because there was another lil rapid that was pretty dangerous. and guess who decided to tip over and fall in...good ole sneha! =D wayta go champ, wayta go.

it was really funny to watch, i had the best view of the house for this fall, she just fell in complete slow motion. it was like somebody had taped it, and replayed it in slow motion. it was like we could have caught her and pulled her back in, but at the risk of us losing our balance instead. so yeah, i pretty much just kepted on paddling to keep my own balance and just slowly watch her slide over the edge...then tip into the water w/ her feet in the air. so jokes! but she was fine, she got picked up by another raft behind us and hopped back on at the bottom of the rapid.

we just kept on going through a whole bunch of more rapids and just generally had loads of fun. we also surfed again, but this time we all pretty much clustered around the front of the raft and did the 'nosedive' (i think it was called?). the best part of that was....while nosediving..bob completely lost his balance and fell all over us. it was like he had purposely provided himself w/ a human cushion for his fall =P

OH! we also went cliff jumping! so fun! it was so crazy to jump into the REALLY fast running current, but definitely a thrill. so fun! not to mention that pradnya lost BOTH her sandals! hehehe...she was stuck going bare foot for the rest of the journey =P hey, pradnya, your mom know that you lost her sandals yet?... the ones that she didn't you'd taken in the first place? heheh =P

near the end of the journey, we all decided to just take a swim, had a bunch of water fights w/ other rafts, etc. as well, we all decided to tip the raft and just dump ourselves into the water. a really cool part was when he asked me to duck into the water and come under the raft (still overturned) w/ him. so i did. and NO nothing funky happened! he just said that he wanted me to hang on tight while he was gonna flip the raft over, so i'd be in the raft once it was flipped.

definitely a weird feeling to just be under there w/ a lil pocket of air..and just waiting..not really knowing what to do, or when it was gonna get flipped. so yeah. i just hung on to the straps to where the paddles were strapped to when not in use, braced myself and just waited. heard a bunch of noise on the outside of the raft, but couldn't really make out what was going on. then all of a sudden, i felt myself getting flipped completely out of the water and landed right into the raft. it was actually a pretty amazing experience in itself. it really was like i was flying. way cool.

but yeah, so the rafting ended. we all got driven back to the meeting place to watch the photos and short video of our adventure, then went to the base camp for the night for the camping part of our weekend.

when we got there, we were expecting that we had to pitch our tent and everything once we registered for the night..but low and behold, we found out that it was already done for us! BONUS! so, dan, i would assume that that made it less of 'camping'? hehehe...but nonetheless, quite fun. the food was just amazingly good, a lil difficult, but good.

had a slow night. met up w/ the frenchies that were in our raft w/ us, and spent a bit of the time wandering around base...not too cool b/c i was in heels (shoes were completely soaked = useless). pretty much twisted my ankle in the process..but it's all good. just sat around after a while and pretty much took a nap while sneha and pradnya were talkn to them. it was definitely a slow nite, it was one of those night where you just wanted to drink..and get drunk cuz there wasn't anything else to do. course i didn't...i just got myself my first beer in ... oh jeez i don't even know..ages really. played a game of pool and just sat around outside talking. drank enough to make me sleepy for the night..but still had a bunch left..so we decided to play the drinking game to finish it off. much fun-age there.

went back to the tents b/c it was raining and didn't want to trek back in the mud. and just chilled around sitting and toasting marshmellows over a tealight..that's right..a tealight. =) it actually worked too! kinda was slow, but amusing.

dozed off b/c of the alcohol, then me and sneha meandered off into our own tent to crash for the night. so hot in there! to the point that i took ur advice on how to sleep in a sleeping bag, dan. so stinking hot! we were seriously melting in there. not cool.

sunday:
had the SLOWEST couple of hours in the morning ever. had absolutely nothing to do..so we just napped. woke up, checked out of our tents, stored our stuff in the office and wandered off to kill time til 4 pm.

had lunch, then they took another nap while i just plopped myself onto a hammock and read more of The Da Vinci Code til they woke up and found me.

*a lot of waiting around happened here*

continued wandering around til it was time to go.

***side note** we were supposed to head home that evening, but b/c we had to wait so much on the ppl to drive us into town, we would have missed the bus if even if we had gone straight to the bus terminal. so we decided on saturday to stay another night.***

we were driven back to ottawa eventually and checked ourselves into the hotel for the night. so jokes, pradnya dealt w/ the registration for the night and was given the room number and keys, so we didn't really pay any attention to what the concierge was talking about and just headed straight for the elevators.

on the elevator, we asked pradnya what room number we were in and she said 707, so we headed towards 707...but the key didn't work. we tried them both, but it still didn't work. so pradnya went down to ask what was going on. when she came back we were all like, 'what the heck? what happened?' all she answers with is, 'i figured it out. i know why the key didn't work'. so obviously we ask why..and this is her answer. 'it didn't work because it wasn't the right room number.'...or something along the lines of that. we had room 709...NOT 707 = smooth pradnya...mellow yellow smooth.

so EVENTUALLY, we got into the 709 and just headed straight to line up for the showers, just cuz we were all grimy and gross. when we felt all clean, we decided to see what was to do on a sunday night.

...not much...

we had dinner and was asking the waiter what there was to do and he couldn't come up w/ anything so he said he was gonna ask some of his other friends. and he STILL came back w/ nothing. so we decided to just head back to the hotel to think of something to do. it was definitely a dry night, in all aspects of the word.

everybody managed to completely crash while i was still struggling to go to sleep at like 1 am. i still don't understand how you guys can sleep so much! u slept during the day, on the ride into town, etc! anyways, got a phone call from a drunken dan..and talked to him for a while. was talking while in the same room as them for a bit, but was wondering if i'd wake them up w/ my talking so i went into the kitchen..but then realized that there was an echo. so as ghetto as it were, i ended up going into the bathroom to talk and sat on the edge of the tub. =

monday:
sneha and pradnya were gonna wake up earlier to head over to Ottawa U. while me and deepa were just gonna sleep cuz we didn't wanna go, and when they came back, we would all go to the war museum. course what plans ever go as planned? they still needed my phone to wake them up, which equated to me waking up..and by the time they were up, we were all up. =T

so me and deepa decided to go along. wandered around ottawa U for a while then headed back to the hotel to check out and go to the war museum. DEFINITELY a MUST see place when in ottawa. so cool. always did love that museum. and the fact that they revamped it = EVEN BETTER! but yeah, definitely some cool stuff there. those 2 guys in the white jeep...they're my heros..well for the day at least. same w/ that unknown soldier.

we didn't get a chance to really walk through that museum cuz we were so pressed for time, but it was a good time nonetheless. gotta go back there and really spend some time in there. any takers?

then we just pretty much ran out of there to get back to the hotel to get our stuff and head to the bus terminal for home.

and home is where i sit now.

THAT was my weekend, as fun and adventure filled as it were. gotta love the extreme sports. pics'll be added in later.

i probably still missed on some fun-filled details, but yeah, this should be enough. =P

**if u actually did read all of this. i give you props. MAD props. either you had too much time on your hands or you're one patient person. =)**

thx girls..definitely a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

what's next? what fun crazy adventure are we going on next? skydiving? anybody?

problem of the day

it's one reason to want to sing b/c u you it & you want to worship, praise & please God, but what happens when you sing & don't fully mean/accept the lyrics? would it be considered hypocritical?

and as we all know, or do now, i love to sing. singing is so much fun. karaoke, singing worship songs, the random singing by myself or even the bursts of bellowing in the car w/ friends...it's all so much fun! come'on you have to admit it, it's a good feeling to know that you can.

the 'problem' arises from the fact that i've got no problems w/ singing the 'regular' songs, but when it comes to worship songs, i struggle on whether i should sing or not. why? b/c when reading the lyrics, i don't always mean them.

but yet, are we not called to worship Him...through praise, worship and prayer? (we'll work on the other 2 aspects on a later date).

so thus the dilemma...to sing b/c i should & love to, or not b/c i don't always mean what i say/sing? what to do....

to sing or not to sing?

who am i? and how do i portray it?

Thought of the Day

again, here i sit puzzled w/ another piece of my life...does me not understanding really always equate to me not caring? i do care, but it's a matter of actually 'getting it'...at least so that it's just not facts, but that i can actually associate to it.

so back to my question, indirectly, does that make me a cold-hearted bitch? i know i'm not...for the most part...but does it seem that way to others? as darren puts it...'no, you're not a cold-hearted bitch, you just pretend to be.' (hehe...thx darren, you're a good lil bro...just don't get too fat [from the summer] that you can't get on the plane to come back to us! =P j/ks!!!) but that's only one opinion, what about others?

there are times where i worry about the random stuff. andwhen i do get hit w/ these random thoughts, it sticks til i at least find some kind of an answer.

personally, deep down, i don't think that i'm THAT cold-hearted. i can most certainly be the biggest jerkface that one can ever be, but, for the most part, i don't fully mean it.

**if it gets to be too much, just let me know & i can try to turn it down a notch**

but, yeah, what do you think? does a lack of understanding result in a lack of caring?

how does one separate & distinguish one from the other?

so torn.

i have become what i've always hated/really looked down upon. a hypocrite...not just any hypocrite, but, worse, a Christian one. i've always, and still do, stand by what i believe: if you don't have your heart in it, don't do it. and yet, here i sit, doing exactly what i have always stood against.

in a way, i don't have a choice. it's probably the one thing that my parents completely stand by. i have to attend church, but i just don't want to be here anymore. my mind's not here, my spirit's not here, neither is my heart. there are times that i feel such guilt for just taking up space.

how did i get so far from God? i could easily place the blame on ccf, but that's not fair. the politics there is only the last straw. this all started w/ barely feeling God in my life these days. doubts that He may not even be there. looking back, i can see that i've done pretty well on my own. so is He actually rally there? not like He's guiding me or anything rite now. to Christians, it's probably almost sacrilegious to say such a thing, but it's the truth.

everyday, i can subconsciously feel myself sliding farther and farther away. why do i not bother to try to stop it? because i just don't want to, i just don't care. i'd rather live my life honestly, even if it means turning my back on everything that i've been taught. to me, honestly is more important than putting up a Christian front.

on the plus side, there is still hope for me one day. there are times where i do feel like wanting to 'be' a Christian. not just fake it, but to really worship Him. but those moments are far and few...very far and few.

i know that one day i’ll go back to God, but for now, i feel as though i need a hiatus from it. to get some perspective on where my life is going.

so here, i’m torn. my parents don’t understand and i doubt that they’ll ever understand. it’s just not something that they’re used to.

i’m too rooted in Christianity to hold no hope for my in the future. Nor do i wish for others to follow in my footsteps. i do wish for others to continue to strive for God, to call Jesus as their Saviour. He is God, He is THE Saviour. there’s no doubt of that in my mind, but i just doubt my position/stance on/in/of it.

does it sound contradictory, yeah, it does, even to me…thus feeling so torn inside.

thanks for reading thus far and know that i do treasure you as friends, gifts from God.

much love,

~ care

stole it from darren's xanga...

Your Birthdate: December 14

With a birthday on the 14th of the month (5 energy) you are inclined to work well with people and enjoy them. You are talented and versatile, very good at presenting ideas, and you are also very good at organization and systematizing. You may have a tendency to get itchy feet at times and need change and travel. You tend to be very progressive, imaginative and adaptable. Your mind is quick, clever and analytical. A restlessness in your nature may make you a bit impatient and easily bored with routine, and rebel against it. You have a tendency to shirk responsibility.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

stuck in the past.

so here i am. living the usual busy summer life of a university student..and BAM i get hit w/ the memories of the past. don't get me wrong, some are really good..but some are pretty shit too.

reliving the memories only brings to awareness of the fact that you have to move on from the past. just let everything go, but yet the good times make you want to stay in the past.

life can be so much better when you can let the past rest...to realize that some ppl just don't care about you...as much as they had let on to be. that they may have just only been close to you for one purpose or another.

but, yet, there are others who are just there to make your life that much more happier, to bring that lil drop of joy back into your life.

gotta love them the most.

so when you're down, just remember that there are those who still love u lots. more than u'll ever know...

~ peace.